Love Is Blind

If love is really blind, at what point do the blinders come off? I remember a time—not that long ago—when Tom would buy me terrific, thoughtful gifts that displayed his romantic side. He would give me jewelry and sexy lingerie for my birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions. Besides the thoughtful gifts he always would take me to a nice restaurant for a quiet, romantic, candle-lit dinner. The restaurants were unique, with fireplaces, scenic views, and patios where we would watch the sun set.
Now my special gifts and romantic dinners are replaced by gifts for his convenience. For our anniversary, he gave me a meat grinder so I can grind up bologna and make him sandwich spread for his sandwiches. He gave me a self-propelled lawn mower so I would stop complaining about pushing the mower while he golfed. One anniversary he gave me a necklace that actually turned my neck green! The anniversary gift I shall always treasure is the old telephone pole insulators that he found discarded in a field. For many birthdays he gave me grocery bags full of zucchini, peppers, tomatoes, and corn that were the overflow from the gardens of his friends from work. I am so lucky to have been born at harvest time! One Christmas he gave me a centerpiece from his work’s Christmas party. He was one of the last to leave the party. The clean-up crew asked him if he wanted the centerpiece since they were just going to throw the decorations away. When he came home he said, “Merry Christmas” and handed me the centerpiece. Last Christmas he gave me a pocket calendar from the credit union. Other gifts that he has given me include deer meat, canned peppers, and ten pounds of nuts. The big problem with these gifts is that I hate deer meat and canned peppers—and he ate all of the nuts!
Whenever I ask Tom if he loves me, he zaps me with a little Lally Logic sarcasm, “I’m here, ain’t I?” At weddings or parties where there is dancing, his favorite thing to say to me is, “Do you want to dance?” I always say, “Okay.” Then he says, “Go ahead,” and laughs obnoxiously. I ask Tom, “Why don’t you spend more time with me?” He says, “You don’t play golf or do any of the things I like to do.”
I never understood why some couples who had been married for a while ended up sleeping in separate beds. However, now I am beginning to understand why they sleep in separate beds, rooms, houses, towns, states, countries, and even different continents.

Writing The Next Book

For the last few months I have been busy marketing my books. When I first started writing I didn’t realize all the different jobs I would be expected to do. I have discovered that I have to be a jack of all trades. Besides writing I edit, publish, sell, mail, and market my book. So now I am ready to start writing my next book. Writing is what I like the best. The first step to writing is collecting all the scraps of paper and napkins I wrote on when an idea came to mind.

The Cartoon Characters at the Glen

Just a little excitement on our relaxing get-a-way.

 

The next summer, Tom and I planned a trip to the Finger Lakes in New York for our little weekend getaway to relax without the children. Tom was excited about the trip, saying, “I always wanted to go there. It’s nice and peaceful and not too far away.”

The first thing we did when we arrived was go on a boat tour to learn the history of the Finger Lakes. The next day we drove to a Glen where water roared down the mountain. We climbed a massive amount of steps to the top. While climbing, we occasionally stopped and wandered off the path. In certain areas people walked across the Glen and sat on the cliffs. Some of the places we went I didn’t feel too safe, but Tom said with some of his adventure logic, “If it was dangerous it would be roped off and they wouldn’t let us walk around here.” A couple of times we slipped on the rocks. There were many small pools of water where people were wading.

We were really tired after that hike up and down the Glen so we went back to our motel and rested. Later we went to dinner and then to the lounge for a glass of wine before retiring for the night. While I was sipping on my wine, the local news caught my attention, “A tourist drowned in the Glen earlier in the day.” It was in the exact area where Tom and I were hiking earlier. Everyone in the lounge was shocked. The bartender informed us, “The Glen is very dangerous with the steep, slippery cliffs and the deep water in some areas. Every summer at least three tourists drown.” I relived our day and was terrified of what could have happened to us if we would have lost our footing on the slippery rocks. After a while we regained our senses and started to relax again. Then a woman at the bar started choking and was grasping for her breath. Her loving husband was sitting beside her. He just sat there sipping his beer. Everyone was looking her way, concerned. Someone shouted, “Your wife is choking! Help her!” The husband answered, “Oh, it is just ice. It will melt before she dies.” He sat unconcerned and continued drinking his beer. Our relaxing vacation ended with a little drama.

My Irishman

I feel so lucky I married a 100% Irishman!!! Here is a true Irish Joke!!!

Tom takes such pride in the fact that he is 100% Irish and is always referring to it. He is impossible and obnoxious on St. Patrick’s Day. He spends the day at a local tavern drinking green beer dressed like his version of a leprechaun along with his Irish buddies and the want-to-be Irish for the day. He calls himself a thoroughbred and me a Mongrel since I am a mixture of a few nationalities. He considers himself superior to me; however, he continually proves himself wrong. For instance, one time he moved the refrigerator out so he could work on the back wall before the painter came. He kept tripping on the cord when he went to get a tool or whatever. The Mongrel was enjoying the Irishman’s problem. However, she didn’t want the cord to be pulled out of the back of the fridge when he tripped so she pushed the refrigerator over a little so the Irishman wouldn’t trip and could still get to the back wall.

Can you just picture the comic strip or hear the joke? How many times does an Irishman trip over a cord to the refrigerator that he moved out so he could fix the back wall? Once, “Wow!! I almost killed myself.” Twice, “What the heck?” Third time, “Holy cow!” Fourth time, “How in the world, I almost fell.” Now the Mongrel moves the refrigerator a little and solves the Irishman’s problem. Tell me again who is superior!

Here is a page from my latest book "Noooo! I'm Not a Cartoon Character" it's a story about a Valentine's Day planned by the Cartoon Character. 

Tom continues to refer to himself as a caring romantic; a few days before Valentine’s Day, Tom announced, “I’ll make the supreme sacrifice and spend the day with you on Valentine’s Day. We will start off the day at our favorite coffee shop. Then I’ll take you to the movies and then to our favorite tavern for a pizza.” I thought, “What is this? Is he finally realizing what the word romantic means?” I should have been suspicious, but again my heart got in the way of common sense. On Valentine’s Day, we headed for the coffee shop and enjoyed our brew and a bagel. Then we headed down the street to the movies. On the way to the movies I saw a sign in front of a floral shop that read, “A Dozen Roses $19.99.” I thought, “What type of women get a dozen roses for Valentine’s Day? Certainly not me! What type of man buys their woman roses for Valentine’s Day; certainly not my man!”

The movie was hilarious; we laughed out loud and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. After the movie he took me to our favorite tavern where the waiter gave me a red carnation and wished me a happy Valentine’s Day. We ordered our pizza and a friend bought us a round of drinks. After a while another friend came over and said to Tom, “Can I buy you a drink? I left the house a couple of hours ago with this $20.00 bill and I haven’t spent it yet. Every time my glass gets low, someone buys me a drink.” Tom said, “I know what you mean. I started the day at the coffee shop and got a free bagel. Then I took my wife to the movies and we got in free. They have a policy at the Cinema that firemen and their guest get in free. Monday is free popcorn day and today is Monday. They just gave my wife a red carnation. I ordered a pizza and today it’s on special for $5.00. As soon as I sat down my buddy over there bought Liz and me a drink. I ordered another drink and it was happy hour. I put a dollar in the lotto machine and won fifteen dollars.” Wow! Again he deleted the romance from our day. I wonder why he is frugal when it comes to me and is such a spendthrift when it comes to his gadgets. And just why is he so happy and bragging about the fact he took his wife out for Valentine’s Day for practically nothing. My frugal side agreed with him, but somehow I got this uneasy feeling that something was missing. Especially since Tom doesn’t have a frugal side. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Tom just seemed a little too pleased about taking me out on Valentine’s Day for practically nothing.

BOOK SIGNING AT LEANA'S BOOKS & MORE 12/2/13

The book signing was very exciting. It is always interesting to talk to other authors and hear about their inspirations and experiences of writing a book. It always amazes me how small the world is because everywhere we go there are people we know. One of the authors was a fellow Tom golfed with a few years ago. A special thanks to family and friends who came and supported the "Cartoon Characters."

It's a good thing I always carry copies of my books with me wherever I go because for the past few weeks people have been approaching me for a copy of my book. Jess's, Thelma's, High Street, Home Depot, and various parking lots are just a few of the places I have been approached. A couple friends came to my house for my book and one friend actually left without the book. I guess we got so involved with our conversation we forgot why she came over. Tomorrow I will be at Leana's Books & More at the Shenango Valley Mall for a Book Signing from 11am to 2pm. There will also be four other local authors and I look forward to meeting them and buying a signed copy of their books. Who knows maybe some day one of us will become famous and I will have a signed copy of their book.

Being recognized as an "Author."

The fun part of marketing my book is being recognized as author Liz. When I took my 8 books to the post office to ship to Texas the postal clerk recognized me and said, "Hi Liz, are these more books to ship out?" I said, "Yes." She said, "Your last book was really funny. I can't wait to read this one. I am going on vacation and I will read it then." However when I took my book to ship to Michigan, the clerk said, "What's this a book?" I said, "Yes, don't you recognize me? I'm the famous author Liz Lally." He just looked at me and said, "I don't read books." Oh well I guess everyone doesn't know me in this small town.

The "Ripple Effecr"

I sent 8 books to Texas last week and just got an order for a book from Michigan and New York. I refer to my book selling experience as the "Ripple Effect." I tell my relatives and friends to spread the word and cause a "Ripple" around the "Universe."

Marketing Phase of Publishing

I have been busy with the next phase of publishing a book. I am now marketing my book. I have had a couple of book signings. My next book signing will be at the Shenango Valley Mall in Hermitage on Saturday November 2nd, from 11am to 2pm. There will be four other local authors there. I hope this will create a bigger "Ripple" in my book selling experience. I feel that now my "Ripple is in a Stream my goal is to create a ripple in the OCEAN!

The Premiere Book Signing was very relaxed and enjoyable because we had time to visit with our friends. The best was while talking to Tony and Mary we discovered that when they went to Presque Isle they took a tour on a Segway. Presque is my favorite beach where I like to hang out and write and read. Nearby there is also a great motel with a relaxing pool and lounge. Down the street is a casino where I rid myself of some change in the hopes of becomming a millionare. Next time the Cartoon Characters go to Erie we are looking foreward to touring the Isle on the Segway. I need some more stories for my next book.

Can't put the book down

Usually I get a little perturbed when people ignore me and text, talk on their phone or "read" when I'm talking to them. I think people should live in the moment and talk with the people around them and not get so involved with other technology distractions. However I wasn't perturbed in the least when these people ignored me and read a book while visiting me. I wonder why? Maybe cause it was "My Book" Just look at them. They can't resist reading my stories. That's okay they can ignore me.

My books finally arrived and my mother-in-law was the first one to read "Nooo! I'm not a Cartoon Character." I heard she chuckled through most of the book. She must have approved of my stories because she presented me with a gift at my Premiere Book Signing that I will "treasure forever." The gift was Doves that she gave to her mother many years ago. You have to read my book to understand the story of the "Doves

."

I finished the final editing of my book after a phone conferance with my editor in Texas. I sent the manuscript in to my publisher on Tuesday, July 22, at 10:43A.M. Tom sent his creation of the cover from his head, to the computer, then to the publisher on Wednesday, July 23, at 1:29P.M.      Now we wait to see if they create the cover as Tom visions it .

Envelope just arrived from Texas!

My last pages just arrived from my People in Texas. Now the race begins! Will I be done with my final editing before my cover people are done with the cover. The last I checked the cover was back in his head for more creativity. 

My People are Making Progress. At Least Some of Them.

                                      
                                         Texas: Mike, sports editor of the Dallas Morning News,
                                         finished editing the last 11 pages of my book. Maureen
                                         is rushing to the Post Office to mail the pages to Pennsylvania.

                                         Pennsylvania: The final editing of the pages of my
                                         manuscript is complete except for the 11 pages in Texas.
                                         When the 11 pages arrive from Texas, I will complete                
                                         the final editing. Then send it off to the Publisher.

                                         Pennsylvania: The progress of the cover. From head
                                         to computer to head again for more creativeness.

I Have People!!!

Texas: Mike is Editing the last 11 pages of my Book.  

Pennsylvania: Last Editing. Editing Chapter One again.One more

 editing of each Chapter before I send my Manuscript to be Published.

 

Pennsylvania: From Head to Computer. The Cover is Finally
 out of Tom's Head and in the Computer.

Progress of new book.

I am done with my part of writing my book. I again encouraged Tom to show me something of the cover he has been working on for the last 6 months. He went into his computer room and when I went to check on the progress: Here is Tom!!! I asked him, "What are you doing?" He said, "I am working on your cover." I said, "Where is the cover?" He said, "It's all in my head." I said, "I can't see inside your head. Put something on paper so I can see it."

Enought about black and white colors. I have always been drawn to shades of brown, green, and blues. However, for this cover I have been considering a purple background and yellow letters. I can't come to a final decision so I thought I would go to the book store and see if any colors stand out. Just before I left I told Tom I have come to a decision, the background is going to be yellow and the letters red unless I find some color more appealing at the bookstore.

After going up and down many the aisles a book caught my eye. The colors are yellow and red, Tom's name and my maiden name Wolfe. This has to be a sign. What I don't know. Of course I had to buy the book. I tried to read it to find a clue, however, I don't think it's his best writing. Some others tried to read it and couldn't get past the first few pages. There just has to be a reason I was drawn to yellow and red before I left for the book store and this book was sitting on the shelf with our names on it in bright red letters

. 

A scene from my upcoming book where I sit pondering about which shade of white to paint my kitchen and living room. I am a victim of this multi-color era.