Love Is Blind

If love is really blind, at what point do the blinders come off? I remember a time—not that long ago—when Tom would buy me terrific, thoughtful gifts that displayed his romantic side. He would give me jewelry and sexy lingerie for my birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions. Besides the thoughtful gifts he always would take me to a nice restaurant for a quiet, romantic, candle-lit dinner. The restaurants were unique, with fireplaces, scenic views, and patios where we would watch the sun set.
Now my special gifts and romantic dinners are replaced by gifts for his convenience. For our anniversary, he gave me a meat grinder so I can grind up bologna and make him sandwich spread for his sandwiches. He gave me a self-propelled lawn mower so I would stop complaining about pushing the mower while he golfed. One anniversary he gave me a necklace that actually turned my neck green! The anniversary gift I shall always treasure is the old telephone pole insulators that he found discarded in a field. For many birthdays he gave me grocery bags full of zucchini, peppers, tomatoes, and corn that were the overflow from the gardens of his friends from work. I am so lucky to have been born at harvest time! One Christmas he gave me a centerpiece from his work’s Christmas party. He was one of the last to leave the party. The clean-up crew asked him if he wanted the centerpiece since they were just going to throw the decorations away. When he came home he said, “Merry Christmas” and handed me the centerpiece. Last Christmas he gave me a pocket calendar from the credit union. Other gifts that he has given me include deer meat, canned peppers, and ten pounds of nuts. The big problem with these gifts is that I hate deer meat and canned peppers—and he ate all of the nuts!
Whenever I ask Tom if he loves me, he zaps me with a little Lally Logic sarcasm, “I’m here, ain’t I?” At weddings or parties where there is dancing, his favorite thing to say to me is, “Do you want to dance?” I always say, “Okay.” Then he says, “Go ahead,” and laughs obnoxiously. I ask Tom, “Why don’t you spend more time with me?” He says, “You don’t play golf or do any of the things I like to do.”
I never understood why some couples who had been married for a while ended up sleeping in separate beds. However, now I am beginning to understand why they sleep in separate beds, rooms, houses, towns, states, countries, and even different continents.

Writing The Next Book

For the last few months I have been busy marketing my books. When I first started writing I didn’t realize all the different jobs I would be expected to do. I have discovered that I have to be a jack of all trades. Besides writing I edit, publish, sell, mail, and market my book. So now I am ready to start writing my next book. Writing is what I like the best. The first step to writing is collecting all the scraps of paper and napkins I wrote on when an idea came to mind.

The Cartoon Characters at the Glen

Just a little excitement on our relaxing get-a-way.

 

The next summer, Tom and I planned a trip to the Finger Lakes in New York for our little weekend getaway to relax without the children. Tom was excited about the trip, saying, “I always wanted to go there. It’s nice and peaceful and not too far away.”

The first thing we did when we arrived was go on a boat tour to learn the history of the Finger Lakes. The next day we drove to a Glen where water roared down the mountain. We climbed a massive amount of steps to the top. While climbing, we occasionally stopped and wandered off the path. In certain areas people walked across the Glen and sat on the cliffs. Some of the places we went I didn’t feel too safe, but Tom said with some of his adventure logic, “If it was dangerous it would be roped off and they wouldn’t let us walk around here.” A couple of times we slipped on the rocks. There were many small pools of water where people were wading.

We were really tired after that hike up and down the Glen so we went back to our motel and rested. Later we went to dinner and then to the lounge for a glass of wine before retiring for the night. While I was sipping on my wine, the local news caught my attention, “A tourist drowned in the Glen earlier in the day.” It was in the exact area where Tom and I were hiking earlier. Everyone in the lounge was shocked. The bartender informed us, “The Glen is very dangerous with the steep, slippery cliffs and the deep water in some areas. Every summer at least three tourists drown.” I relived our day and was terrified of what could have happened to us if we would have lost our footing on the slippery rocks. After a while we regained our senses and started to relax again. Then a woman at the bar started choking and was grasping for her breath. Her loving husband was sitting beside her. He just sat there sipping his beer. Everyone was looking her way, concerned. Someone shouted, “Your wife is choking! Help her!” The husband answered, “Oh, it is just ice. It will melt before she dies.” He sat unconcerned and continued drinking his beer. Our relaxing vacation ended with a little drama.

My Irishman

I feel so lucky I married a 100% Irishman!!! Here is a true Irish Joke!!!

Tom takes such pride in the fact that he is 100% Irish and is always referring to it. He is impossible and obnoxious on St. Patrick’s Day. He spends the day at a local tavern drinking green beer dressed like his version of a leprechaun along with his Irish buddies and the want-to-be Irish for the day. He calls himself a thoroughbred and me a Mongrel since I am a mixture of a few nationalities. He considers himself superior to me; however, he continually proves himself wrong. For instance, one time he moved the refrigerator out so he could work on the back wall before the painter came. He kept tripping on the cord when he went to get a tool or whatever. The Mongrel was enjoying the Irishman’s problem. However, she didn’t want the cord to be pulled out of the back of the fridge when he tripped so she pushed the refrigerator over a little so the Irishman wouldn’t trip and could still get to the back wall.

Can you just picture the comic strip or hear the joke? How many times does an Irishman trip over a cord to the refrigerator that he moved out so he could fix the back wall? Once, “Wow!! I almost killed myself.” Twice, “What the heck?” Third time, “Holy cow!” Fourth time, “How in the world, I almost fell.” Now the Mongrel moves the refrigerator a little and solves the Irishman’s problem. Tell me again who is superior!

Here is a page from my latest book "Noooo! I'm Not a Cartoon Character" it's a story about a Valentine's Day planned by the Cartoon Character. 

Tom continues to refer to himself as a caring romantic; a few days before Valentine’s Day, Tom announced, “I’ll make the supreme sacrifice and spend the day with you on Valentine’s Day. We will start off the day at our favorite coffee shop. Then I’ll take you to the movies and then to our favorite tavern for a pizza.” I thought, “What is this? Is he finally realizing what the word romantic means?” I should have been suspicious, but again my heart got in the way of common sense. On Valentine’s Day, we headed for the coffee shop and enjoyed our brew and a bagel. Then we headed down the street to the movies. On the way to the movies I saw a sign in front of a floral shop that read, “A Dozen Roses $19.99.” I thought, “What type of women get a dozen roses for Valentine’s Day? Certainly not me! What type of man buys their woman roses for Valentine’s Day; certainly not my man!”

The movie was hilarious; we laughed out loud and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. After the movie he took me to our favorite tavern where the waiter gave me a red carnation and wished me a happy Valentine’s Day. We ordered our pizza and a friend bought us a round of drinks. After a while another friend came over and said to Tom, “Can I buy you a drink? I left the house a couple of hours ago with this $20.00 bill and I haven’t spent it yet. Every time my glass gets low, someone buys me a drink.” Tom said, “I know what you mean. I started the day at the coffee shop and got a free bagel. Then I took my wife to the movies and we got in free. They have a policy at the Cinema that firemen and their guest get in free. Monday is free popcorn day and today is Monday. They just gave my wife a red carnation. I ordered a pizza and today it’s on special for $5.00. As soon as I sat down my buddy over there bought Liz and me a drink. I ordered another drink and it was happy hour. I put a dollar in the lotto machine and won fifteen dollars.” Wow! Again he deleted the romance from our day. I wonder why he is frugal when it comes to me and is such a spendthrift when it comes to his gadgets. And just why is he so happy and bragging about the fact he took his wife out for Valentine’s Day for practically nothing. My frugal side agreed with him, but somehow I got this uneasy feeling that something was missing. Especially since Tom doesn’t have a frugal side. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Tom just seemed a little too pleased about taking me out on Valentine’s Day for practically nothing.

BOOK SIGNING AT LEANA'S BOOKS & MORE 12/2/13

The book signing was very exciting. It is always interesting to talk to other authors and hear about their inspirations and experiences of writing a book. It always amazes me how small the world is because everywhere we go there are people we know. One of the authors was a fellow Tom golfed with a few years ago. A special thanks to family and friends who came and supported the "Cartoon Characters."

It's a good thing I always carry copies of my books with me wherever I go because for the past few weeks people have been approaching me for a copy of my book. Jess's, Thelma's, High Street, Home Depot, and various parking lots are just a few of the places I have been approached. A couple friends came to my house for my book and one friend actually left without the book. I guess we got so involved with our conversation we forgot why she came over. Tomorrow I will be at Leana's Books & More at the Shenango Valley Mall for a Book Signing from 11am to 2pm. There will also be four other local authors and I look forward to meeting them and buying a signed copy of their books. Who knows maybe some day one of us will become famous and I will have a signed copy of their book.